Yes. I'm still here.

These are not new years resolutions, only the things I currently have planned, coinciding with starting a monthly news letter and email list. With the way Amazon, Facebook, and other platforms may change their policies over night and cut my exposure down in an instant, it only makes sense to create a more intimate source, a more individually captained source, for contact with people who might be interested in my fiction.

So, if you're interested, here's what I have planned:

A monthly newsletter updating the status of each of my projects, sharing personal successes in writing, running, and family life, probably sharing an absurd observation or two, and sharing a short story from one of my fictional environments which shouldn't be available elsewhere.

Projects I currently have going are:

The Price of Friendship (ebook). It is through edits. I'm working on the book cover and formatting. It should be out by the end of February 2019.

The Galactic Battle Base: Space Dust (ebook) It is also through edits, the cover is almost done, and it needs formatting. Also should be out by the end of February 2019.

The Pariah. Episodes 15-20 are ready to be recorded and released as podcast episodes. After that, they will be released as the fourth novella/chapter book. I'm editing Episodes 21-24. When they are recorded and released as podcast episodes, I will re edit the entire novel and then send it to an editor.

Shooting Stars 4 needs another major edit with another 10K words.

Next week I'm taking a day off from the day job to outline my short stories for my monthly new letters with the first news letter due out at the beginning of February.

Bio-rhythms, Editors, and Metaphors

I don't know what's wrong with me, recently. I've been short tempered, grumpy, and negative. I have some ideas, but they're kind of personal, and you don't really want to know that kind of stuff. Probably something to do with my Bio-rhythm and internal chemistry. (I don't really believe in Bio-rhythms. They were a thing in the 1980's.)

I got my manuscript of The Galactic Battle Base: Trigger Warnings back from the editor I sent it to. He obviously didn't get my vision and chopped it into pieces, deleting much of what I thought was the focus of the story.

Either, I didn't explain my story clearly enough--through dialog, description, and character conflict-- or he went into it expecting to get one thing and was confused by finding another. I imagine it is a combination of the two.

So, with my current state of mind, I was pretty much torqued. With each correction and deletion I found myself becoming angrier and angrier. I had set myself a pretty demanding goal of getting this book published by mid May, to take it with me to the LDStorymakers conference. I could see, from the amount of work he was suggesting I do and with all the other things I have going, this was either an unrealistic goal, or it was going to require a whole lot of effort.

Instead, I shifted gears. (That's a metaphor. Some say you shouldn't use them when writing science fiction because the readers will take them literally. I would have to say, "Come on. You read science fiction. You're supposed to be more intelligent than the average reader. Don't be stupid." While I have a car with a manual transmission, this doesn't mean that I actually went out and changed from fourth speed down to third. Maybe this is a worn out metaphor, which is a danger when using them, but I think it's pretty apt.)

My biggest projects at the moment are The Pariah podcast and gearing up for www.Channillo.com.

With the podcast I have to get another episode recorded and in the can this month. That shouldn't be too hard, I have the next episode edited and ready to record. But I also need to edit the first five episodes and publish them as a chapter book for Kindle and Print on Demand, as I've promised my www.patreon.com supporters. With Channillo I had said I would do chapters from the Galactic Battle Base story, "Family Ties" and publish an episode every two weeks. I've decided, instead, I will also use chapters from "Trigger Warnings" as well and change the output to ever week instead of biweekly. This will allow me to focus on that story, develop each chapter with its own story arch, and hopefully make it clearer to the reader. Once I've gone completely through the novel in this manner, I can resubmit it to an editor and see if I'm closer to publication as a separate novel.

Okay. I've gotten that off my chest. My self-doubts have been aired.  Now, if I can adjust my bio-rhythm or my internal chemistry I'll feel much more like the author I thought I was two weeks ago and get back to getting things done.

Imposter Syndrome

I read a post on Twitter this morning where an author was describing how much of her was consumed various thoughts and actions. She mentioned something called, "Imposter Syndrome".

That's one of those things which keeps authors from finishing their books, or if they finish it, it keeps them from seeking out agents or publishers. I think the idea runs along the idea that, "I'm not really an author. I'm just faking it. I'm an imposter. So I don't deserve to finish the novel, or get published, because then, everyone would see what an imposter I really am."

I feel that myself. On the one hand, I believe that anyone has the right to write the requisite number of words as long as they meet the criteria of following a story arc which logically proceeds from beginning to end. They can then call themselves an author, writer, novelist, etc. A real one, too. 

I tell myself that all the time.

And still, I look for validation all the time. Sales and reviews of my books help me validate it. Though, if you know me personally, books sales have not been phenomenal. I somehow think that if sales had rocketed through the ceiling, I would feel much more validated. 

I work full time as an orthotist. I'm a good one. I'm creative and talented and many of my patients even like me.  But then, I feel like, if I'm an orthotist full time, then I'm only trying to be an author, writer, novelist part time, faking along the best I can until... 

I was running the projects through my mind that I currently have going, mentally trying to get a grip on what I should work on next. Here was the list I came up with:

The Pariah Podcast:
    The Intro and Episode 1 are recorded and in the can.
    Episodes 3 - 7 have been edited once.
    Episode 2 has been read out loud, re edited, and ready to record.
    I want the first 4 Eps in the can by the launch date of February 6th.
    I've decided to broaden the plot of The Pariah and will probably bring another 25K words into it. So I need to outline that and write those five episodes.

I need to make bookmarks of my books and podcast to hand out at a Comic Convention I'm going to and get them printed.

I committed to a website trying to serialize digital writing for a monthly subscription. I said I will serialize a Galactic Battle Base Novel and will need to have my first episode ready by March 31. Again, I would rather have the first four episodes ready, about 2500 words each to be release every two weeks.

The Galactic Battle Base is with the editor. I would like to release that in May. I need to do another edit, at least, and get cover art for the book.

I want to release "Shooting Stars 2" in the summer. So I need to do at least two full edits of that before sending it to the editor.

In the fall I want to release "The Price of Friendship 3" on Podiobooks.com. So that needs to be written, edited twice and recorded.

So, the realization which I had was that, while I may not believe the rest of the world should take me seriously as a writer, if I am to get all of this done on time, I need to take myself seriously as a writer.