Imposter Syndrome

I read a post on Twitter this morning where an author was describing how much of her was consumed various thoughts and actions. She mentioned something called, "Imposter Syndrome".

That's one of those things which keeps authors from finishing their books, or if they finish it, it keeps them from seeking out agents or publishers. I think the idea runs along the idea that, "I'm not really an author. I'm just faking it. I'm an imposter. So I don't deserve to finish the novel, or get published, because then, everyone would see what an imposter I really am."

I feel that myself. On the one hand, I believe that anyone has the right to write the requisite number of words as long as they meet the criteria of following a story arc which logically proceeds from beginning to end. They can then call themselves an author, writer, novelist, etc. A real one, too. 

I tell myself that all the time.

And still, I look for validation all the time. Sales and reviews of my books help me validate it. Though, if you know me personally, books sales have not been phenomenal. I somehow think that if sales had rocketed through the ceiling, I would feel much more validated. 

I work full time as an orthotist. I'm a good one. I'm creative and talented and many of my patients even like me.  But then, I feel like, if I'm an orthotist full time, then I'm only trying to be an author, writer, novelist part time, faking along the best I can until... 

I was running the projects through my mind that I currently have going, mentally trying to get a grip on what I should work on next. Here was the list I came up with:

The Pariah Podcast:
    The Intro and Episode 1 are recorded and in the can.
    Episodes 3 - 7 have been edited once.
    Episode 2 has been read out loud, re edited, and ready to record.
    I want the first 4 Eps in the can by the launch date of February 6th.
    I've decided to broaden the plot of The Pariah and will probably bring another 25K words into it. So I need to outline that and write those five episodes.

I need to make bookmarks of my books and podcast to hand out at a Comic Convention I'm going to and get them printed.

I committed to a website trying to serialize digital writing for a monthly subscription. I said I will serialize a Galactic Battle Base Novel and will need to have my first episode ready by March 31. Again, I would rather have the first four episodes ready, about 2500 words each to be release every two weeks.

The Galactic Battle Base is with the editor. I would like to release that in May. I need to do another edit, at least, and get cover art for the book.

I want to release "Shooting Stars 2" in the summer. So I need to do at least two full edits of that before sending it to the editor.

In the fall I want to release "The Price of Friendship 3" on Podiobooks.com. So that needs to be written, edited twice and recorded.

So, the realization which I had was that, while I may not believe the rest of the world should take me seriously as a writer, if I am to get all of this done on time, I need to take myself seriously as a writer.

My new blog: I Want To Retire, Someday.

I'd like to retire, someday.

The facts are, I'm getting older and I don't have enough to retire on and live a somewhat comfortable life. I originally figured I would work until I was about 70 and by that point I would have so few people depending on my for anything that I could just go live in a cardboard box somewhere in Los Angeles where it doesn't get to cold in the winter.

It doesn't look like things will work out the way I'd like. Both of my younger children, age 12 and 10, are likely to need guidance and support for the better part of their lives; especially my boy with autism. In about ten years, when he ages out of the school system, I will need to be available assist him during the day. Working a full time job will not accomodate the time I'll need to spend with him. 

Wait. Let me rephrase that... The time I would like to spend with him.

I may have mentioned previously that my plan is to turn my writing into my retirement. There are ONLY two things I need to make that a reality:

1) Publish three novels per year, preferably in ongoing series's. (I'm not happy with that apostrophe.)
2) Get people to buy them.

I think I can do number 1. It's number 2 I'm kind of lost at.

My first novel was published at the end of September. I should have my second published in January of 2015. (That's next month. I just sent it back to my editor for a second look.) And my third novel is with another editor and should publish in March to April of 2015. I have three more manuscripts, three more stories outlined, and at least three more stories (in concept form) to go with the serieseseses that I have begun. I'm pretty sure I can knock out three novels a year.

It's the getting people to buy them that is my problem, and that is going to be the basis for my blog. One of the ways I have heard other people gained notoriety for their novels is by writing a blog. So, here's my blog. I will try to relate on a daily to weekly basis what I discover about getting my books notice and how I am able to get them sold.

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